We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
