So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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