Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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