Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
