Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
