she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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