This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize