HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
