Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Your cock deserves a montage
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
His nipple licking is glorious
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