Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
