Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
