honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Nicole vs. Life
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
