I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
