It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Randomize