Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
