I'm lost and stupid without you.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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