I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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