I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
