He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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