That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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