biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
