the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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