Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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