So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
