my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
