I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
