Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
