They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
