Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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