so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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