i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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