my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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