best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
