Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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