he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize