I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
