You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
