Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
