Got a toothbrush?
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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