Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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