He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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