Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
