I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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