i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize