theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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