he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
