Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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