is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
