Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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