i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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