This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
