How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
