how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize