As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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