"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
