Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
