:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
