I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
