i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
we're so committed to being not committed
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize