Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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