roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
