there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize