I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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