Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
