..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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